| | Hullo Reader! Haven't posted in a while even though I'm trying to stay consistent. My apologies. I've been busy hah hah. So yeah, i don't really know what to write. I guess I could talk about some of the more recent events of my life.
So lately, God's really been teaching me a lot about what it means to surrender to His will and to His promise. Starting ever since that dude at Urbana played this awesome rendition of I Surrender All during communion, the topic of surrender has been bugging me everywhere I go. The subject arose especially during times of stress; it's exam season and I'm not doing as well as I wish I were. Not only that, but church duties and service has been a real heavy load. Things have just been...well, plain busy; I don't think Jesus intended Easter to be so packed. But, as you may have already guessed, God has really been telling me to just let go and surrender my worries, my anxieties and myself in general to Him.
It definitely has not been easy. I mean, I'm not the type of guy who prays before studying; I've never done it before and even when I tried, it doesn't really help. But I don't know; God has been moving in my heart this feeling of dedicating my studies to Him and His glory. That's one of the problems I face in university right now; just this feeling of pointlessness, of futility. But I think God trying to knock it in my brain that y'know, school is where I placed you but you don't have to go through it alone. Dedicate this time to Me, to honoring My Name through school and the rest will fall into place. Seek ye first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you, kinda deal. And this has been a comforting thought.
But God doesn't just want my studies; no, He wants ALL of me. i.e. He wants my dreams, my aspirations, my good times as well as my bad times. Surrender ALL to His will, right? It's not just the bad stuff like worries and fears and whatnot; it's also your dreams of who you want to be etc. If it's not God's will, then well, it's just YOUR will and not God's. I mean we sing songs with phrases like "take it all" or "I surrender all". The word "all" doesn't mean just the stuff you want to get rite of. Sometimes, it stuff you can't let go of but you still have to surrender it to God.
Take me for example, and to make it interesting, why don't we talk about the always electrifying, always juicy topic of luuuuuuve [rolls eyes]. Let's see, I've been single for nineteen going on twenty years, so I'm used to like "keeping my eyes open" for gurls in case there are any "potentials" (oh man, this is sooo embarrassing). Potentials for me are based upon a subconscious criteria that I have deep within my brain whether I like it or not; just a few standards that must be met if I'm ever going to consider dating this person. Totally normal, right? (c'mon, work with me ppl) So I'm used to, and am comfortable with, looking out for myself; I'm familiar to evaluating compatibility based on my standards. But God's recently been challenging me over and over again, "do you trust Me?" and if you apply this to the love situation, it's "do you trust Me with finding who is best for you, knowing when you are going to meet her, and how it's going to happen?" And man, saying yes has never been so HARD!! Hah hah. I mean, y'know it's "natural" to "keep your eyes open" right? I can't help doing it; it's part of being single. Everybody who's looking for a partner for life naturally searches for someone whom they can spend their life with; it's like a "love radar" if you will. But God's been like saying, "yo, you don't have to keep your eyes open anymore. I've got your back, I know who's best for you. There's no need to meet people on the basis of whether or not they fit into your 'criteria'. Love ppl as brothers and sisters FIRST and leave the rest to Me. If something happens, it's only because I WANTED it to happen, so chillax man". And dude, just giving it up, that is TOUGH. I mean, what if God chooses someone who is TOTALLY not my type? I mean I want to choose MY future girlfriend, I don't want to be set up! But heeeey, when you think about it...isn't God like the BEST matchmaker in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE?? Hah hah. But like it says in Jeremiah 29:11 (which was quoted during someone's baptism speech today; talk about God knocking something over your head) "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'". So if you love God and you trust Him with all that you have, then what need is there to fear?
Ultimately, God has just been teaching me about trust and what it means to surrender to Him. Trust means you have faith that God will provide, that you believe and are convicted that God is watching over you and that you are taken care of. To surrender means to submit, to give yourself up, to yield everything that you are to the power of a greater, wiser and more powerful being. Yeah, that's just a little something God's been showing me these past few days. Praise God that He's there to look after you, amen? Man, I'm sooo glad I have a Shepherd to watch over me, cuz duuude...I am one stupid sheep! Thank God that God is there! :D
Cheers.
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| | Posted 4/8/2007 3:04 PM - 18 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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