| | Little Bonsai
Hullo Reader! Yes, I know I haven't updated in a long time, and for that I apologize. I've been pretty distracted and blogging hasn't been very high on my priorities unfortunately.
Life since exams have been...pretty good I suppose. The week right after, I was just so relieved it was over. The strain of stress was gone and it felt good. I got an electric guitar, been hanging out more and yeah. It was nice. Iunno, I guess I was filled with a certain sense of peace; as if God is just giving me some time to take a break away from worries and away from everything else. I thank God for that week, because it was really what I needed; a nice refresher.
This past weekend was a little more rocky, I'm afraid. With the feeling of nothing to do starting to sink in, I fell back into some old habits, that of which I'm not very proud of. Not only that, but I found out marks for some of my courses. My Managerial Accounting mark was reaaaally good; a 76% on my final which boosted my grade up to a 67 which, for those of you who don't know, is reaaally good for managerial accounting (thank God!). Unfortunately, my OB mark wasn't so swell; my final mark's a D+, so I'm probably going to be taking it again (but definitely not with the same prof). A lot of my folks' friends have been getting pretty sick and my bro's graduation is in the air. Plus, summer school just started. All through this, I felt like I was being blown about by a heavy wind, tossing me here and there when every new problem arises. I felt like a little tree, a sapling, hanging onto the ground by its roots, its thin branches stripped bare of it fledgling leaves.
But through these moments, I couldn't help feeling a wiry sense of irony. If you see my screen name for MSN or even for this xanga page, you'll notice it's called "Bonsai Boy" which is a little moniker that I made up for myself a while back. Originally, this name came out "Bonsai", which was my nickname at Bridletowne summer day camp which I worked at last summer. Eventually, the name got modified to "Bonsai Boy" because...well...I liked it. That name really stuck with me for some strange reason. Now, if you don't know what a bonsai is, it is a miniature potted tree that originated from Japan; growers would snip off branches and raise the tree to become small, yet still retain its tree-like look and shape. Don't ask me why I chose this name last summer; I just like it.
But when I thought about it more, I actually feel a certain familiarity with the bonsai, or perhaps more so a sapling tree. As a sapling is young and weak in a forest of mighty oaks, so am I if compared with the wiser and more mature Christians around me. And like a sapling, my branches have yet to bear much fruit, but I cling onto the protective bosom of the earth with all my might, even as the wind threatens to carry me away. I'm not a rock; rocks are immobile, unshakable. Small trees, on the other hand, move to and fro with the wind, their life precarious and precious. Now I'm not saying my life is dangerous and such, but spiritually, I think we all agree that life is a roller coaster, going up and down with every new twist and turn. But I cling onto the God with my roots, or rather He clings onto me, and I will not be carried off by the heavy winds. I may be shaken and bruised, but as long as I'm rooted in Him, I will not perish, nor will I fail to grow. Perhaps one day I can join the mighty oaks of the great forest, whose only purpose is to stretch their branches high into the heavens in praise of their King, powerful trees that shake little and bear much fruit. Perhaps one day I will be strong and beautiful, wise and loving. That's the dream of this little bonsai. But until then, I'll keep on growing and learning.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
Jeremiah 17:7-8
Cheers.
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| | Posted 5/8/2007 8:53 PM - 27 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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